Imperfect Perfection

Part of the reason I started this blog was to be transparent about my life. I figured that I could possibly connect with other people, who could say "I've walked a few miles in those same shoes." Since I was about 10-years-old, I've struggled with weight issues. I started noticing that my body was filling out, while my friends only seemed to get taller. This remained consistent all throughout high school as well. Everyone was thin and slim, and although I was skinny, I still didn't look like them. I had hips and thighs, and I was curvy. I hated it! I wanted to look like the models in Seventeen, or the ones in Elle Magazine.

It wasn't until I was much older that I realized why I didn't look like everyone else. In those magazines, at that time, I wasn't really represented. You didn't see POC all that often, and when you did, they were always the same models. I'm so glad that has changed, and now in magazines you see such a wide variation of differences. It's amazing!

I didn't decide to start eating better and working out with the aim of getting skinny. I'm never going to be skinny, and I'm okay with that. My thighs are probably always going to touch, and my belly isn't going to be flat. I'm learning that those imperfections make me who I am. I'm on this journey to be my best self. To encourage my parents to eat better (my father thinks food is only good if it's fried), and to help my son with portion control.

I have a love/hate relationship with working out. It's something I hate, but at the same time I love it. I hate the pain, I hate the commitment and dedication it takes to do a workout. I hate sweating. At the same time I love the burn, I love when I show up for myself, and I love knowing that I'm getting my body to do something truly amazing. I also love the mental clarity working out provides.

I still have so much to learn. I have to learn how to love my body as it is right now. I have to learn how to be consistent. I have to drink more water. For the past month, I've been pollo-pescatarian. I definitely need to learn more about that.

Needless to say, there's always something to be learned!

XOXO,
Sina